Difference Theory

Deborah Tannen believes the reason there is a difference in language between men and women is because parents used words of emotion to girls and verbs to boys. She says men and women belong to different sub-cultures. Her book 'You Just Don't Understand' state there are six differences between men and women.

1. Status vs. support - men see language as a means of asserting dominance; women see it as a way of confirming/supporting ideas.
2. Independence vs. intimacy - men "go it alone"; women seek support.
3. Advice vs. understanding - men see language as problem solving; women see it as a means of empathy.
4. Information vs. feelings - males are concerned with the facts; women with emotions.
5. Orders vs. proposals - men use imperatives; females use hidden directives.
6. Conflict vs. compromise - men will argue; women will try to find a middle ground.

She also says women talk too much, there are people who disagree with this which makes women seem more innocent in that sense.

Christine Howe believes

The differences between male and female conversation begins at socialisation, ages 3-4. Women are more active listeners, minor interjections are used such as 'uh huh' and 'oh really' which is called back-channelling, it's not classed offensive or competitive overlap - women like to feel more involved with the other person talking. It's what supports the speaker and encourages them to keep talking, it shows they're interested. Men have strategies for gaining power, men are more likely to respond to what is being said, they're keen to put their views across. Christine Howe says this is what makes it harder for the listener to participate in the conversation.

Ann Weatherall believes

Women's talk is co-operative in contrast to men's talk which is competitive. Women are more likely to use hedging like 'sort of' and 'kind of' this suggests uncertainty, men use statements. Women also speak for less time and are less likely to interrupt.
Females use more tag questions:
F: We're seeing Mum later, aren't we?
M: We're going to see Mum today.

Pilkington researched into all female and all male conversation in a bakery over a period of nine months. He found:

• Women talk to affirm solidarity and maintain social relationships.
• Women focus on feelings, personal anecdotes and relationships.
• Women support, build on each others' points and complete others' utterances
• Women agree frequently.
• Men find long pauses (thinking time) acceptable.
• Men frequently disagree and challenge others' points.
• Their conversation is competitive to a point of verbal abuse. They take part in verbal sparring, often using mock insults.

There's a theory in contrast to this which is called Dominance, William O'Barr and Bowman Atkins wrote a book called 'Women's Language Or a Powerless Language'.

They studied the language of the courtroom and found female lawyers to be assertive, interrupt, everything that Pilkington argued for males. They also found that witnesses of both sexes would use Robin Lakoff's weak "female" language. They concluded that these weak language traits are actually a "powerless language" rather than a "female language". They've established males have always dominated at both home and workplace whilst females play the more domestic role.

Robin Lakoff (1975) was a believer in this to some extent. She combined elements of dominance and deficiency (another theory that claims women's language is weaker because it's EXPECTED to be weaker..."women don't swear" being a common assumption) and created a set of female characteristics:

• Women hedge.
• Women use super polite forms: "Would you please...?" "I'd really appreciate it if..."
• Women speak in italics (use more prosodic features): It's soooo nice...
• They use empty adjectives: divine, lovely, adorable...
• They use modal verbs: should, would...
• Overuse qualifiers. "I think that..."
• They use mitigated responses and hidden directives.
• They have special lexis for things like colours and cloth.
• They avoid coarse language and expletives.
• Women can't tell jokes.

Derogatives

Female: Bitch Cunt Slag Tart Whore Slut Slapper Dog Cow

Male: Bastard Wanker Dickhead Prick Gay Puff Wimp

In 1977, Julia Stanley suggested there were 220 terms that are targeted to women, and only 20 for a male. Most of these words are sexually insulting. On the male side, the insults are often seen as less taboo, and many of them are effeminate (feminising the male). Males aren't frowned upon sleeping with a lot of women, however if a female was to do that its unacceptable and are said to have lack of self respect.
This theory suggests sexism, which allows people to be ruder and inappropriate to women. Linking to the difference theory, 'women were brought up with words of feelings', this suggests women are more likely to take offence to the words - which allows the person saying the terms feel more encouraged to carry on because they're getting a reaction.

Stereotypes

Gender stereotypes generally fall into two categories:

Women are: Weak Pretty Intuitive Emotional Domestic Social

Men are: Strong Decisive Practical Rational Public Commanding

 People use terms that suggests a stereotype for women and for men that make men seem the dominant sex. 'You cant do it, you're a woman', 'that's bad parking, must have been done by a woman', phrases like this lower the status of women and makes it seem male's can do more than female's.